Tuesday, June 25, 2013

The "Can't Sit Right for Days" Collection


So here's a fun story. My best friend and Maid of Honor, Jocelyn, goes to a trainer once a week for a super hardcore workout session. I figured that sounded like a pretty good idea and figured I would try to find a gym. There's (supposedly...) a Planet Fitness somewhere in the city of the mall that I work at so I figured they would have a trainer option there and I could go there, check out the gym, and dedicate an hour so each week to a hardcore workout where I didn't have the power to press pause! Sounds like a great idea, right?

Yeah. The problem: I could never find the Planet Fitness. It's still missing. I'm not even sure it exists. People from that city tell me that it does but I'm pretty sure they've been brainwashed into telling people that they have it just to mess with people like me. I got pretty lost trying to find it... I came out on the south side of town and had no hope for survival... that is... until I saw Dunkin Donuts and I was like "Oh, thank God! I'm saved!" But then I thought "WAIT! I'm trying to find a gym! I can't just go there and get my FAVORITE coffee EVER!"

So, with a lot of sadness and regret, I drove right by Dunkin Donuts. I know. It was really hard. But I did it. That's step one, folks. I said no to Dunkin Donuts. I said no to my Mint Chocolate Chip flavored iced coffee. That's hard to do! But I'm here to say that it is possible.

Now... am I going to say that I didn't go to Dairy Queen that night? No. I'm not going to say that I didn't go to Dairy Queen. I'm only human! But Dairy Queen was the least of my problems! Without finding the gym, where would I seek a trainer? But then I remembered why I wanted to go to Planet Fitness in the first place: it's pretty cheap. I never did find out how much a trainer would be because, you know, I couldn't find the gym. But I would imagine that it was cheaper than some other gyms in the area.

So, now we have the conflict. Here I am, flabby and wanting SO BADLY to go out and try on bridal gowns that just won't fit me and my trainer idea was shut down. What to do next? Well, I went to Amazon!

Here is where I tell you all about my "Can't Sit Right for Days" collection. I shopped all around Amazon and found used videos and books that contained all kinds of fun facts about losing weight and, for lack of a better term, kicking my ass.

The first member of the collection was a book called Buff Brides written by Sue Fleming. On the cover it says "The Complete Guide to Getting in Shape and Looking Great for Your Wedding Day"... now that sounds pretty good right??! So I immediately clicked add to cart and checked out the partnering recommendations. And then I saw it... I thought, wait a second... could it be? And now I know for sure. Buff Brides by Sue Fleming has its own workout video- "Buff Brides: Count Down to Gown Workout!" I thought, IT'S A CHRISTMAS MIRACLE! Reading AND a workout! CLICK- added to cart.

At this point I was on a roll. "WHAT ELSE YA GOT, AMAZON?!?" And then I found it. It may or may not be my favorite part of the collection so far: Look Better Naked. LBN (as Michelle Promaulayko calls it) is a book and DVD workout full of hardcore exercises that really hit the trouble zones (ahem... these workouts may have inspired my Can't Sit Right for Days name for this collection). But- LBN is NOT just a workout book. It contains lots of information about healthy foods and diets but I think my favorite part about this series is that is also a confidence boosting book. In the book, Michelle Promaulayko talks about how looking great naked, clothed, swim-suited, or mascot-costumed isn't going to mean anything if you don't feel good about yourself too! The book contains all kinds of self-esteem boosting exercises that help you appreciate your body. Now, do I want to walk around naked all the time after reading it? Heck no! But it did help to remind myself that I might want to look fantastic on my wedding day, but I still need to be healthy, happy, and keep working to be the woman that Matt wanted to marry in the first place.

Finally- Buff Brides and LBN got a little sister this weekend. Jillian Michaels. The first DVD to come in the mail was "No More Trouble Zones," which I just finished a few minutes ago. LET ME TELL YOU WHAT. I hurt. I hurt a lot. I am so happy that there aren't any stairs in our apartment. But, after a few minutes of updating my adorable little blog, I feel pretty good. My lungs are all cleared up, I'm sitting up straighter in my chair (this might be because I am afraid of Jillian sneaking up behind me and screaming at me to sit up straight...) and I honestly feel good. I feel tired, very sweaty, and I desperately need a shower, but I think this is something I want to continue doing.

But, let's be honest. I didn't do the entire workout. The whole thing is about 40 minutes long. Jillian works with circuits a lot because it gets your entire body moving and without resting a single area, you burn more calories. When you burn more calories, you burn more fat. That sounds great, right? Well, I'm here to tell you that doing a hardcore workout from start to finish is great- but you have to know your limits. I wasn't ashamed to recognize that I am OUT OF SHAPE. This is probably the worst physical condition I have EVER been in. If I went back to high school and tried to do a volleyball workout, I would definitely be throwing up all over the floor. So did I feel bad when I had to just stop for a second to breathe? Absolutely not. Did I feel like I had to say sorry from hitting pause so I could stretch my aching quads? Heck no! Why? Because now I have a new goal: to get through her entire workout without skipping anything.

Now, I know that this goal is going to take a while to work up to, and that's okay! Heck, I have two years to do that! Jocelyn (MOH mentioned above) has recently lost a lot of weight and I am extremely proud of her! But if you ask her what her secret is, she'll happily tell you that she's been working out since last October and the pounds are finally melting away. She's stuck with it for months without seeing hardly any results and that is just amazing. She's going to be my inspiration to keep going with these workouts! Every time I see her, she looks smaller somewhere. I hope that by continuing these tough workouts in this intimidating collection she will be able to say the same about me! :)

Alright, now it's time for a well-earned shower. But my final word for the day: I encourage you to stick with your workouts. I know, I know, Jillian Michaels is intimidating. But if you're willing to pay the 7 dollars for the workout videos in your collection, you might as well do them. And if you don't give up on your workouts, your body will show it.

See ya later, alligators!

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